I have a client going through my 8-week Positive Intelligence (PQ) Program to reduce the power his Saboteurs have over him.
He’s working to stop letting his victim, hyper-vigilance, and controller saboteurs completely take over his life.
He wrote this and posted it on the wall above his desk. He gave me permission to share it.
Everything isn’t about me.
When people speak, they are just presenting their opinion or preference.
When people are mean they are just revealing their insecurities. Or they are not being mean at all, I am filtering what they are saying to make it about me causing me to stand in victimhood.
Everything isn’t about me.
When people ask questions, they are being curious, they are not accusing me or passive-aggressively insulting me.
If I know them to be passive-aggressive, then their questions and actions are not about me. If they can’t come out and ask me what they really want to know, that’s on them.
If I don’t know them to be passive-aggressive, I cannot accuse them of being that way so I can remain a victim and blame them.
When people help me, they are not trying to control me or tell me I’m not doing a good enough job by their actions.
Everything isn’t about me.
I need to remember to see everything through the eyes of compassion and never resentment.
Nothing grows when resentment is present.
When I make everything (anything) about me I am announcing my insecurity and my inability to see the world outside my self-centeredness.
Our brain is built to protect us.
But mine is overprotecting me.
My victim, hyper-vigilance, and controller saboteurs are taken over completely.
I’m stuck in fight or flight.
This makes me quick to attack instead of being able to see the opinions and points of view of others as valid.
This behavior causes people to walk away from me.
Everything isn’t about me.
Unless someone says something directly to me, it’s not about me.
And even then, I need to be paying attention, because it could be their anger or insecurities talking and it’s still not about me.
Take responsibility for my mistakes and when I hurt others, stop defending and passing the blame.
Outside of that…
It’s not about me.
Stop taking things personally.
Stop making everything about me.
