I was talking with a client who is going through my 8-week Mental Fitness Bootcamp and they asked me:
“What is wrong with being a people-pleaser, isn’t it good to help others?”
Yes, of course…
But NOT at the expense of your own wants and needs.
And, NOT when you are doing it because you want someone to like you or think they will stop being your friend if you say “no” to one of their requests.
True friends wouldn’t do this.
The trick is all in the motivation behind what you are doing.
If it’s because you think it’s how you get love, affection, and attention, and how you get people to like you…
This is people-pleasing, this is your Saboteurs lying to you.
And you are believing their lie.
If you are doing something for someone out of love, regardless of getting recognition or anything in return, and when it is not at the expense of your own wants and needs, then this is the correct motivation.
This is not people-pleasing, it is being of service to others.
That’s the difference.
Pay attention to where your motivation comes from.
Are you people-pleasing or being of service?
When you are authentically yourself the people who are meant to be in your life will be there.
When you aren’t and you’re trying to please everyone to get them to like you, then how do you know who loves you for you?
How are you so sure you haven’t lost sight of who you really are in an effort to be everything to everyone?
Aren’t you exhausted?