I’ve been having more and more conversations these days about assuming.
Specifically, regarding people avoiding conversations that are in their best interest because they assume it will lead to conflict, or they assume they will not get the resolution they want.
But assuming this and not engaging ensures conflict and ensures you won’t get the resolution you’re looking for.
The conflict you will have will be within because you didn’t speak up for yourself.
Assuming you need to avoid having a conversation because you think the person you’re engaging with is going to react negatively gives that person control over your life.
It’s a huge assumption that only hurts you.
You don’t know how the conversation will actually unfold.
Instead, speak up and engage.
If you are met with resistance instead of understanding. That tells you a lot about that person.
They are not listening to understand you. Perhaps they are not interested in understanding you.
If they respond with defensiveness or other means that let you know they are not interested in you or your best interest, that’s when you stop engaging and walk away.
Do not continue, avoid conflict this way.
You might not get the outcome you were looking for.
But you will get the message you need.
Stop assuming, speak up for yourself. Then, observe how the other person engages with you.
That’s the most important part of the interaction.
I’ve had this conversation a number of times in the past few weeks. In my unscientific study, 100% of the people who went on to have the conversation they were avoiding due to assuming found the interaction did not turn into the ugly, messy conflict they were assuming it was going to.
What are you avoiding because you are assuming??
Are you the type of person who takes responsibility when things go wrong, or are you the type who looks for others to blame?