The Dark Path of Assuming

When something hard or difficult or perceived as hard or difficult is presented in our life,

Whether it’s a decision we have to make, a conversation we need to have, or a task or project we’re expected to complete.

What do we tend to do?


And some of my clients take assuming to a whole other level…

If it were an Olympic event,

They would be the gold medal winners!

But here’s the issue with assuming,

We pretty much never assume in our favor.

In most cases, our brain likes to navigate us to the negative and doesn’t allow us to play out a positive outcome.

For example, when people don’t return our call or email,

We assume they are not interested or don’t want to engage with us for one reason or another.

The fact that they might just be really busy isn’t something we tend to consider.

If we do consider it, we most likely quickly disregard it and go back to assuming the negative.

Think about your own life, when something feels hard or difficult, or when things are out of your control, where does your brain go?

To the negative… filling your head with self-criticism or self-doubt. Making negative assumptions about yourself, others, or the situation.

What if instead you explore and use curiosity to find a solution or engage in an action that moves you in a positive direction?

Use empathy when considering another person’s situation and stop assuming things are moving in a negative direction.

For the sake of protecting us, we are built to gravitate towards the negative.

Because of this, we make false assumptions in a misguided attempt to keep us safe.

And in a lot of cases, we make decisions based on these negative assumptions.

This can send us down an unnecessary path.

Our assumptions and our decisions based on our assumptions can keep us stuck or keep us in conflict with ourselves or with others. Or they can cause us to spend too much time in the negative space in our brain.

Instead of assuming, gain clarity, explore options, and practice empathy for yourself and others.

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Have you ever considered how often your assumptions are drawn from misreading a situation or misinterpreting what someone has said?

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